Entire PEOPLE!!!

I am currently having a life-altering experience

facebook was demented until I realized that I could HIDE PEOPLE FROM MY NEWS FEED. This may be one step closer to world peace. Thank you Heathcliff.

gay gays are the best

naiveté in my chest

i sometimes wipe my ass and smell it

because it makes me happy

life africa trinidad naipaul

dislexia love hate pleasure

john legend

masturbation

masturbation

masturbation

sanity god truth plane sight christianity

tradition race class value marx identity

sociology decption fear purpose mummy granny daddy

lizard heman robert elizabeth emily connection rc

people agenda money fitness acceptance race superficiality beaty me girls self esteem i kinda hungry though hmmm ncaa tournament

heaven whiteness africaness indianess girls boys connection discrimination complexity

bigness smallness million billion google universe physics everywhere laws all over scared unsure desparate

help hungry etenity after life aaah

I want answers I want truth!

Things that you should kn...oh yea, no shoulds in RC. Things that you dluohs know

You can see saturn (like the shape of it with the rings and everything) with a pretty ordinary telescope. I mean lelescope.

Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself. Fah true.

Roaches are nocturnal. Fah choo choo.

Be who you are and say what you think cuz those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.

mosquito one

mosquito two

mosquito jump in the ole man shoe

the shoe too hot he jump in the pot

the pot too cole he jump in the hole

the hole too deep he jump in the jeep

the jeep too fass he jump in the grass

a ole man pass and kick him in he ass :|

Fahchoo!

viginate is a real word.

yuh bess and yuh know who yuh is.

art, rat and tar are not synonyms but cripsy and flims are homophones.

Splingaling hear it ring everybody listen to the bell to the bell listen to the bell

I am here
and that is great
I smell like pinapple cuz I spilled some pinapple juice on my sweater...mmmm...and wait i spilled ketchup too just today. Mhm and when i lick it it's still sweet. I guess my point is that stink fat nieceness isnt's so bad. I mean I ate a hotdog in the toilet yesterday cuz I don't have an actual lunch break. I also licked that waxy finger thing officinas use when handling papers.
Tace like joe gum. For yummie real.
I am very fat.
Yes.

Tall boy solo tall boy tall boy tall boy solo tall boy

Dear Mr. SMJaleel,

Sorry. Your cola champagne was always rubbish solo own is the one i was thinking of. As a matter of fact most of your flavours kinda nasty. Solo is the cut. Peace!

P.S. you are also a bad speller cuz Cola starts with a C and not a K and if you selling koala champagne that just stink.

Wine on a bomcie wine on a bomcie that is the ting wine on a bomcie wine on a bomcie that is the ting...

Dear Mr. SMJaleel,

This morning I had a Kola champagne chubby which was not cola champagne at all. It was Big red or something very smilar. What the hell is that?? This is the second time this happened and i am very upset. How do you expect the next generation to grow up on this garbage. The EMA clearly stated in their investigation into 'How to Really Spell Aluminium' that "a significant source of joocy goodness is found in the unique flavouring of our local beverages." Our young ones are growing up on Big Red instead of actual Cola Champagne. The saddest part though is that our really young children probably never actually tasted Cola Champagne at all. Who knows how long this has been going on? You do. If this is not addressed we may soon be drinking homogenized colas and highly cafinated beverages in the name of soda. Give us sweedrink Mr. Jalleel give us sweedrink.

Can a blackbird be a kisskidee by eating kisskidee food? No! Blackbirds thrive by being blackbirds by living like blackbirds by feeding their young what is best for them. Cola Champagne and Big red (or watever they are putting in the bottles now) are like cheeze and chalk. All rastas put up yuh hand, all ball heads put up yuh hand, if you a rasta put up yuh han, if you a ball head put up yuh han. Let us ensure that our jooce that is artificial and unhealthy is so in the most naturally enjoyable way. Join with me in pursuit of all the flavours past present and future that can authentically be called sweedrink. It is an investment that will better our today and will fuel with joocie goodness our flaours of tomorrow. Big red just doesn't cut it. I beleive it was you who said,"Chubby Chubby Chubby Chubby, Chubby Chubby Chubby Chubby, Chubby Chubby Chubby Chubby....Chubbyyyy sqqqhuaaaaahhhhhh!!"

...noting wrong with winin on a indian winin on a indian winin on a indian gyal.

That blasted BOOGIE MAN!

"Miss I want to be a dangerous man...like Fifty Cent...killin people an ting." These are the words of young Joseph, a five year old Fist Year Infant student, in an early morning class discussion, after seeing Fifty over the weekend in Get Rich or Die Trying.

In Trinidad and Tobago the demand for boogie-down merchandise is ever growing, the booming $10-$20 DVD market being the most current and obvious example. Our need for pirated goods is quite honestly getting out of hand but even more alarming is the fact that this obvious symptom of our moral and social depravity is accepted as a mere convenience.

My mother often told me "stealing is stealing, whether you take a hundred dollars or one cent if you take something that belongs to someone else it is wrong." I believe that. It is hard to imagine a scenario where the buying and selling of these stolen foreign products could be legitimized and the market continue to thrive as it now does. These goods would become too expensive and demand would fall followed by their decreased influence on the masses. For our honesty and commitment to fair trade we pay by having to rely on our own creativity for entertainment. Instead of filling our consciousness with the sex, bling and violence of Hollywood we are forced to spend this time and money elsewhere.

With the blimp, and the anti kidnapping squad, the constitutional reform, and the community integration programmes, spending a few minutes and a few dollars to deal with this notorious Boogie man must be part of our agenda.

Sandre

Once upon a time there was a doy named Sandre. He was like a boy but just not cuz he was a doy. He used to work in masonry but he fine that that was too good a life and he had too many free things like a full scholarship to mason school and great frens and many more things, so he decided to give it all up and work as a cobbler AT NIGHT in this shoemaker's shop.

He spent his first four months in training, well that's what they called it but it was actually just three crazy women with a rake who would take turns passing it HARD over yuh back or beating yuh with it if yuh didn't do exactly what they said. In that period Sandre got alot alot ALOT of raking because them woman, DEY MAD, and they does talk fass fass or jumbled and cut material in a ball of smoke so neither Sandre nor any of his other cobbler trainee bretheren could follow. In time though by sheer default they learnt cobbling. As the saying goes "if yuh get beat with a rake enuff yuh go learn" and that they did.

In the months that followed Sandre grew more and more disgruntled in that shop. He realized that although he had not gotten a rake to face in a while the hours of work were really demanding and he had stopped doing many things that brought him great joy and fulfilment. He tried slowly reclaiming his old life but everything that he tried served only to passify his true zeal to become the doy that he knew he had to be. He quit his job! and converted to islam.

After one week of kneeling for prayers he realized that that wasn't for him so he left the mosk and with his new found discipline and hat he tried being a jew. He soon realized that that wasn't so easy cus the hats were really quite different. He spent months moving from one religion to another but just when he would get settled someone would ask him about his cool hat and soon he'd have to make up a sketchy story that never stood up.

He moved to Tobago where he spent some time planting crops in the hills amongst a group of female rastas and it was a fun time, to say the least, but it was not where he belonged. He then traveled to Rome in search of answers. After three weeks he realized that that was the same place with Aristotle and them but still, no purpose. He took a plane to Harare where he spent the following year living with missionaries. One day while walkign through the yard he hit his small toe on a big stone and buss out a big "OH MY STINK SLACK MUDDA GOOSE!" and immediately it came to him. He was clear on the meaning of his life and the purpose for which it had all happened. He then returned home went to UWI and eventually earned a PHD from an un-named University.

He then started teaching a class on how not to buss yah toe (and if you do how to avoid using expletives). This became an international movement that brought joy and happiness to all people with toes and those connected to toes or people who have them.

Fleeting Enlightenment

You ever had one of those "Eewww is that mee? How repulsive!!" moments when you feel like vomiting all over the place cuz u see somebody acting like yourself and it's just, gag, appauling. Every time I hear the 'f' word I feel like i need to scrub my soul cuz it makes me profoundly aware of how utterly nasty I sound to everyone else. Today I was with one of my close friends and he was spewing them all over the place; on other people, on himself in my car. Every time I bore witness I hurled in disgust. Sickened by how totally awful it sounded and at the wonderful job he did at ensuring that every inch of the fk bled of pure obscenity, but mostly just by knowing that in any way that reflected my behaviour.

Randomly at the office last week I was biting my nails when suddenly I noticed myself. It was strange because it didn't take me seeing someone else doing it to notice myself. For the first time, after hearing the 'that's so nasty' tune for years, I was genuinely capable of appreciating its message; so juvenile, so nasty. I swear to you I was sick to my stomach.I immediately committed to disposing of all of my filthy habits. While contemplating the solidarity of my decision I managed to nervously chew all the nails off my other hand..."oh f***"

Bouts with Dislexia

First of all f@*#!! you if u actually know how to spell the word "according to Oxford." Who the hell is Kim? or Oxford? I never met the guy and good for him if he's the world's best speller. I have accepted my dyslexia and so should everyone else who has been ridiculed for reading like a drunk man of east indian decent wining to chutney soca.
Today I was sitting at the computer desk typing a letter for about two hours when my older brother walked in and said "You still there?... and daeez all you write? ...not even ten lines?" and proceeded to direct me to just write what I can and said that he will "fix it up" for me. I know that what he really wanted was to use the PC so I offered him a turn which he gladly accepted. I saved my document and walked away. Unscarred yes but pissed, not so much at his passive bullying but at his oxymoronic suggestion. Help me fix my letter?!? Actually it's more funny when u think about it. I is a man come to Trinidad on the Dyslexic soca boat, I can't lie, but he's a man that captain ship an ting. Case in point http://marcaaugustine.blogspot.com/. See what I'm saying.
To my dislexic bretheren out there I say read and read alot. Read both hard and easy books; a chapter a day is better than none at all and in time you'll be better off for it. And going easy is fun. Green Eggs and Ham never killed anyone nor has a little dislexia. In fact I have some very close and very successful friends who are dislexic.

Excuse me sir, would you please wash your stink neck.

Green Corner-to-Carenage.............$3.00

I cannot understand why some people can't seem to figure out that not bathing and getting into cramped air-conditioned spaces with other people makes you unpopular and a prime candidate for a public stabbing. Worse, I can't understand how the driver of the car I got into this morning managed to respire while waiting for three other passengers, for God knows how long, while Mr. Labass Scent was flaming up his vehicle. Woss, I can't conceive why he would turn on or leave on the AC and keep the windows up all the while. Worserest, I don't see how he would expect any living creature to survive for more than five seconds in that toxic environment far less pay to be driven around in it. Most incredible of all, that ride cost me SIX dollars!!!

The Three Bears

Mr. and Mrs. Bear and their son Baby Bear lived in a house on an island. One day before breakfast they all went out to play. A little girl came by picking flowers and saw the house. Her name was Goldilocks because she was blonde. She knocked at the door of the house but there was no answer. She opened the door and went inside.
On the table were three bowls of porridge. Goldilocks tasted them. The first was too salty, the second too sweet but the third just to her liking so she ate it all up. There were three chairs in the living room. The first was too big for Goldilocks the second was too soft and the third was too small. Crash! She sat on the smallest chair and broke it. Upstairs was a bedroom with three beds. The first bed was too hard the second was too soft and the third was just to her liking so Goldilocks got comfortable and fell asleep.
Just then the bears came back. "Someone has been tasting our breakfastses!" said Mrs. Bear. "And dey done mine!" Baby bear exclaimed. "Someone has been sitting in we chairs" Mr. Bear said. "Naaaah dem mad ah wat iz break they break my chair?" Baby bear remonstrated. Mr. Bear led the way upstairs to the bedroom. Just when they opened the door Michelle Sylvester popped out and to Baby Bear she chanted "Somebody's sleeping in your bed." Goldilocks woke up to Baby Bear's irate expression. She ducked out and jumped in a boat and sailed across the Atlantic until she was safely back home. The distraught family turned to Papa Bear for answers. He eventually phoned Goldilocks to confront her about what she had done. The conversation lasted about ten minutes. He hung up and informed his family that Goldilocks said that she was sorry about everything so he invited her to return for dinner and start construction of an aluminum smelter in their back yard.

mUSHY fOOD

GRANNY

SISTER

BROTHER

BARTER

BILLING

CREDIT

ECONOMY

SOCIETY

MODERNIZATION

SLAVERY

CIVILIZATION

PRIMITIVISM

BALANCE

GROWTH

DESTRUCTION

FUNCTION

GOD

SELF

CYCLE

WHOLE

ENVIRONMENT

NATURE

SOULS

PAST

PRESENT

FUTURE

SMELTER

MUSIC

COMPLEXITY

FRUITION

CONSPIRACY

IDEAS

EXPLORERS

ALCOA

BREADTH

THOUGHT

HEARTBEAT

SCHOLARSHIP

HU

RELATIONSHIP

TRUST

TRUTH

LOVE

PATIENCE

EXCITEMENT

THRILL

FEAR

ROLLERCOASTER

CHOCOLATE

BRICKS

BLOCKS

LEGO

HAIR

NEGRO

INDIAN

RACE

CHINEE

CHINKS

EVOLUTION

Neanderthal

CLASS

DEVELOPMENT

MIND

Of The Blimp: The Honest Truth

Recently, after chatting with my friend Patrick I realized that the whole 'blimp blunder' was totally forgivable. It really isn't a question of his buying quick-fix solutions from richer and more powerful countries. He has way more foresight than to do something like that. He also knows that admitting to doing so would put him at risk for being labeled an idiot as it would sound like he is repeating answers when questions about the smelter investment resurface if, God forbid, things go awry.

Really it was a simple matter of wrong context. He just misappropriated some sound advice he received from his best friend just a week before he decided to spend millions on the massive balloon.

"balloons are good for everything Patrick"